Daddy cheated on mommy with prostitute, mommy hates prostitutes, therefore son hates prostitutes, son kills prostitutes because mommy 'tells' him too, mommy likes flowers, son likes flowers, son uses a lot of hairspray, son abducts 'pure' girls and grows a family.

It's like Preston took the most stereotypical story possible and used it. Oh Clover/Colin, you are the biggest disgrace of a psychopath I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.ġst off, let me say that his 'reason' for being the murderer/rapist/flower enthusiast he is could quite possibly be the most cliche story I have ever encountered in my entire reading life. She sucked and I would have rather read from the POV of an intoxicated monkey. do anything except deepen my hate for her calling clover a 'psychotic freak!!!!' as if that will a. stupid jokes (as in - 'Maybe he's polishing off his crazy of the year trophy')ġ0. crying over being named a flower ( god, doesn't he know she has allergies!!!!!)Ħ. Summer's way of expressing her emotions was often:Ĥ. If not for your limited vocabulary, embarrassingly childish thought process, awkward dialogue in what should have been 'terrifying' situations, and overall personality, maybe we could have gotten along. I say *majority*, because while Summer played a big role, Lewis was basically a 12-year-old girl and Clover (*cackle cackle cackle*) was less of a, and I quote, 'psychotic freak', and more of a mommy's boy in need of a hug.īut first, I would like to discuss everyone's favorite blue eyed blond haired brainless British broad - Summer.

Unfortunately, I was instead thrown into a Lifetime Movie written by an orangutan in dire need of a thesaurus who also works part-time as a florist.įor starters, I blame Summer's immature personality and idiotic thought process to be of blame for the *majority* of my distaste towards this book. I was very excited to start this book, hoping for some mutilation (as one does), and expecting to be thrown into the most twisted and creepy episode of Criminal Minds. you better believe I'll be all up on that chiznit. So when I find a book written from the POV of a kidnapped victim. When I'm not watching Ina Garten, you will find me cuddled under the blankets watching a Criminal Minds marathon or Law and Order: SVU. Let me begin by saying that I am quite possibly the biggest crime show freak to ever exist in this world. and turn you into my flower mwahaha! But don't you dare pollenate, because pollenating is for sluts. throw you into a very non-cliche white van.

The Cellar by Natasha Preston